Long to belong
My thoughts they drawl, big and tall,
of the poets fall, of love´s thrall
My heart it bawls, across its walls,
words lost in squall, lost in stall.
My mind in brawl, love´s awol
words maul, feeling small
My eyes on call; nothing at all.
Silence scrawls on emtpy walls:
Longing to belong to someone at all
Well, you know running a blog is still something new to Flame and I. I often ponder what I should put on here and I what I shouldn’t publish at all. What ought I have to say about anyway? Something about some oddish poem exploring some… I don’t know “metaphorical progression bla bla”. So I asked myself, for real, “what should I write?” and here is the answer to that question
So I had a couple of longer weeks. It was your regular uni stuff; do these reading responses, prepare this presentation, read these chapters from this book, and maybe, only if you find the time of course -and I mean we are so busy, and maybe even too busy- try to extract something from it. During the last two weeks, two things happened that led me back to writing. Without further ado here goes nothing:
I had the honor to teach the 3ième IB Class in the Athenée which was a phenomenal experience in and of itself. Super smart students with interesting views paired with a high degree of just regular “school wisdom”. They are currently reading Hamlet… (THEY ARE 16 YEARS OLD!) I gave a class about poetry and “its respective appreciation through the idea of understanding; How technicality further enhances the notion of art.” I know, I know: it sounds boring but, the kids really enjoyed it. They were able to dissect poems and all their component (the likes of iambic pentameter rhyme scheme and so much more).
I challenged myself, through my own eyes; “How would 16 year-old-me have appreciated a ridiculous poetry class?” I sure as heck remember reading about Baudelaire Les Fleurs du Mal and the ridiculous L’albatross Good god, I hated that one with a passion… You see, I was not really fond of literature… and, to be quite honest with you, poetry. Odd to think that, isn’t it?
But I did like something that somewhat resembles poetry; Hip-Hop music. I told myself that I should use this old interest of mine to create a bridge between both artforms and thus foster a different form of appreciation. It all kind of fell into place; my whole lesson plan made sense to me and I was able to really have a fruitful class. One student came to me after class and wanted to further discuss! How heart warming is that!
At this point I break into self-reflection and say thank you to this platform. Having this blog (which is still a word I despise due to personal connotations) creates a nexus for creative thought; I can channel “things” to an extent; whatever those might be. As these nexi (nexuses? sorry but I always wanted to use that word. Who even uses nexus? let alone the plural form/s?) change and interchange with each other, a form of production is created. Any form of production, for that matter, might be of interest to a writer. I will get back to this but first my other interest of the week/s.
FLAME: The plural of nexus is nexus (unchanged) or nexuses. Source.
I also took some time off to finish a couple of books I have started some time ago but never quite got to finish. I carried them with me like a shepherd who’s afraid of wolves. And I knew them and they heard my voice but I could not quite find the time to sit down and actually engage with the… well until last week that is.
I read a phenomenal book if I may say so myself! (Those people that know me personally will probably roll their eyes way back into their head since they already know what is about to be revealed.) YES, it is this one:
(I chose this cover to represent the book because well it looks edgy and cool)
Good ol’ 600 +pages of Russian existentialism. Existentia-what? Well, it can be defined as follows :
“a philosophical theory or approach which emphasizes the existence of the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will.” ˢᵒᵘʳᶜᵉˀ
It was such a good read. I will probably talk more about these books but probably not directly as of now. BUT, if I had to write a little something about this beauty of literature it would be the following:
“The Golgotha of reasoned irrationality explored through (Christian) existentialism. An introspective look at moral oughtness.“
This might sound like the biggest and most pretentious back-cover synopsis you read in quite some time, and, I must admit, I think so too. Never the less, I could not come up with a better resume on the spot which encompassed other works and ideologies Dostoyevsky enshrined in his work.
The atmosphere created in his works is just breathtaking. Cutting edge thought from over a 100 years ago! We, as humans, tend to believe that rationality is a reliable compass for moral guidance. But oughtn’t we remember that there lies a great deal of irrationality in a rational being? We might as well be fully aware of rationality but opt to deliberately act against it. Are we able to conduct ourselves in logical ways in the face of chaotic appeal, the unknown, the irrational (?) (I read this book right after reading Notes from Underground, also a brilliant book, criticizing the limits of human rationality and much more. I think that those two work wonders together and I will probably read more in the near future.)
SO, why this blogpost you might ask? What is the intent of telling two stories that have nothing to do with poetry really? You just write to write I guess? Kinda like your “synopsis” an amalgamation of nothing? Really? Do they have anything to do with each other?
I am asking too many questions just to ask questions and make statements just to state things. Well no… not really. Do not get me wrong I really enjoy rambling on and on, and heck why not for that matter? But for this blogpost there is something more to it. Whilst I am certain that one or the other reader is already well aware of the impending and prevenient teased conclusion; I will still (implicitly) make the point.
This blogpost was a sort of a self-reflection and self-exercise through expression. Anagnorisis might be a term I heard somewhere which seems fit for this post. I wanted to explore the idea of learning how to do something through doing something; a practice I alluded to in a different blogpost.
I came to the conclusion that I must write something, anything for that matter.
As some people might work on poetry and increasing their trajectory regarding their artistic expression, or, to put it less pseudo intelligent terms; getting stuff done, writing anything for that matter helps you in getting better.
Writing is a skill which is ought to be trained, as any skill really. Whether it be poetry or some other artform, is besides the point. So here I had this idea that I tried to incorporate this concept into this hot mess of a blogpost. AS long as you engage with any idea it might help in some shape or form. I could probably refer to some odd “a writing guide” by Prof. Dr. Dr. xyz whom could potentially elaborate on this matter through a more methodological sense. BUT I DID NOT! Since yeah this partly belongs to me. Ha take that academia 😊
As a finishing note I would like to add this for the people that asked us when new stuff is coming out:
We have interesting articles coming up! We received 3 (pending on 4 to 5 atm) Guest Entries, which is just phenomenal. At this place I (and I am certain that Flame sides with me on this) would like to kindly thank the people that follow this adventure of ours. Whether you support us directly or indirectly we really appreciate the feedback, (the interactivity, and overall general) interaction.
At this point I would like to just mention the “the slow word” blog and their recent post. It made me think about what writer I would like to be, which I tried out for this blog.
Check his stuff out : he ma boi.
Furthermore, a special thank you to Otilia for her overall help and attitude! Your help will never go unnoticed.
P.S.: Anyone cared or noticed the dual juxtaposition? Talking about Christian existentialism and alluding to Christian terminology throughout the text? It might be interesting to observe this. Was it fully intended or more a byproduct of what I have been consuming? It might as well be the prevenient grace I feel or the irrationality I found within it :^) a “sic passim”?
 a connection or series of connections linking two or more things.
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